You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
