i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
well most of my day revolves around power hour
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
