I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just invented taco cereal.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
