so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
