hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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