2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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