he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
