please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
