I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
