last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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