I will die if light touches me.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
