At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
