I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize