i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
