forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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