we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
