it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
