Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize