He kissed a someone with a penis
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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