I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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