I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
