If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
