Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
