Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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