Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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