Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
