I faked an abortion last night.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
