so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
