I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
