"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
