Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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