I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
