her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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