On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
