she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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