shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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