Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
