Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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