I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
