last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
