We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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