that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
