And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
