That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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