is your mom at the bar?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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