would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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