I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
