Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
