p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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