God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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