Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
