Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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