he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
