Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
