Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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