she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He? As in you personified your dick?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
