dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
