I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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