sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
