Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
